True

Be true to yourself. Even if it takes your whole life.

In one of his books Obama said your actions must reflect your thoughts and feelings.  In The Audacity of Hope, he discusses his inner conflict. Should he take public transportation, opening a door to encounters with everyday people? Or accept flight on a private jet along with a financial boost to  his campaign ? What if your sense of self was irreparably corrupted?  Say someone who’s all powerful  committed actions that permanently made you a bad person. Would you then reaffirm this self identity by abusing yourself?

Today, my patient I’ll call Nadia said that for each pound she’s overweight, she’ll assign and write about one stressful life event. She’ll then address each item in turn. She proposed a big bonfire at the end to get rid of them all…I suggested she publish her work instead. (The delusions of a lonely blogger).

In The Family That Preys, Tyler Perry writes in  a minor character who wants to start his own business even though his best friend, wife, and multiple bankers try to pound his dreams and ego into the floorboard. His “blindness” to the “truths” around him lead to….his own business. According to Hollywood expert Emily June Hanson, Tyler Perry was abused by 3 different people.  He seems to be searching for his self identity by playing multiple roles in his own movies….movies which portray right and wrong in bright lights.

Emily and Andy had to rank order the severity of 13 crimes in their sociology class at the University of Washington…crimes including murder, rape, suicide, embezzelment, treason and adultery. Our instructors in med school would have never assigned such an  exercise. If they did, I’m absolutely sure, the class would have protested strenuously. I know this because a simple deviation from the multiple choice test format created an uprising. (We’re  training to be doctors, not writers!). 

My friend, Tom, started off as an accountant in his father’s business. His inner voice suggested an entirely different path. When he followed his own instincts, his family disowned him but he  earned a long, gratifying career of his own. As a psychoanalyst, he now helps others discern their true images from the mutilated distorted collages that cruelty previously cemented  onto their canvasses.

“That was true,” I said to myself   today when I hit the pickleball fast, just over the net, and far into my opponents backhand yet within the boundaries. Can you believe, I posted this whole long blog just so I could immortalize that shot? The blog has nothing to do with the fact that my mother is  partying  in South Beach for Halloween.