Not Rick Scott

Floridians chose the man responsible for the largest scam against Medicare to be their governor?  I burst into tears while cutting carrots. I thought the transfer of taxes into Wall Street was as blatant as it could get  with the direct Treasury to Goldman Sachs TARP funnel  but now we might as well sell  Floridians to the   “healthcare” companies. Just like the Alfred Hitchcock episode Eric and I watched last night where a rich, highly esteemed medical professor routinely had his fellow citizens murdered to maintain  a steady supply of cadavers. Bill Clinton tried to stop it by asking the Democrat to step down and allow Charlie Christ to win. Obama is trying to save our country but hatred, greed, ignorance and propaganda are teamed up against him We blue people have  let our sense of helplessness flatten us into inactivity.

I called my uncle before moving from carrots to onions in dinner prep. He’s going to cut news out of his TV viewing habits and hang on to his condo in Buenos Aires. We discussed University of Oregon footbal team’s  no huddle offense to avoid total despair.

Even Jon Stewart can’t take the intense idiocy. He’s targeting the media instead of the corporate puppets who pretend to represent the American people. Rachel Maddow will hold onto what’s right, hopefully without getting so emotional that she loses half her audience.

Had sauteed veggies over couscous with egg sauce along with chili casserole for dinner. Summer, Emily, Lauren, Andy, Eric and I were all there with 2 dogs waiting patiently for leftovers. Played piano, worked on book. Newspaper and NPR will have to wait.

True

Be true to yourself. Even if it takes your whole life.

In one of his books Obama said your actions must reflect your thoughts and feelings.  In The Audacity of Hope, he discusses his inner conflict. Should he take public transportation, opening a door to encounters with everyday people? Or accept flight on a private jet along with a financial boost to  his campaign ? What if your sense of self was irreparably corrupted?  Say someone who’s all powerful  committed actions that permanently made you a bad person. Would you then reaffirm this self identity by abusing yourself?

Today, my patient I’ll call Nadia said that for each pound she’s overweight, she’ll assign and write about one stressful life event. She’ll then address each item in turn. She proposed a big bonfire at the end to get rid of them all…I suggested she publish her work instead. (The delusions of a lonely blogger).

In The Family That Preys, Tyler Perry writes in  a minor character who wants to start his own business even though his best friend, wife, and multiple bankers try to pound his dreams and ego into the floorboard. His “blindness” to the “truths” around him lead to….his own business. According to Hollywood expert Emily June Hanson, Tyler Perry was abused by 3 different people.  He seems to be searching for his self identity by playing multiple roles in his own movies….movies which portray right and wrong in bright lights.

Emily and Andy had to rank order the severity of 13 crimes in their sociology class at the University of Washington…crimes including murder, rape, suicide, embezzelment, treason and adultery. Our instructors in med school would have never assigned such an  exercise. If they did, I’m absolutely sure, the class would have protested strenuously. I know this because a simple deviation from the multiple choice test format created an uprising. (We’re  training to be doctors, not writers!). 

My friend, Tom, started off as an accountant in his father’s business. His inner voice suggested an entirely different path. When he followed his own instincts, his family disowned him but he  earned a long, gratifying career of his own. As a psychoanalyst, he now helps others discern their true images from the mutilated distorted collages that cruelty previously cemented  onto their canvasses.

“That was true,” I said to myself   today when I hit the pickleball fast, just over the net, and far into my opponents backhand yet within the boundaries. Can you believe, I posted this whole long blog just so I could immortalize that shot? The blog has nothing to do with the fact that my mother is  partying  in South Beach for Halloween.

Connections

Rabbi Fine said that David Eagleman explores what it means to be human in his book “SUM” with vignettes about the afterlife. The first vignette recalls that Dr. Frankenstein’s monster went out of control because he badly wanted a relationship and things weren’t going well.

My yoga instructor gave me a candy flagged with “relaxing with friends is the best way to unwind after a long day.”  And the NYT reported that the researchers who found that obese friends increase risk of obesity are now finding that the opposite is true. Hhmmm hanging out with healthy types could be good for your health. (makes me think about Jim Hammond and Iris…)

Anyway….I got lucky Friday night. Three friends came over even though decaf tea and watered down (scoreless) Scrabble were the only draws.  We had the best time just talking.  But I kind of dreaded Sunday night.  In one my my excessively good moods, I had the idea of inviting 2 families with young kids who I thought would enjoy meeting. LITTLE KIDS….What was I thinking???  But for once, I was right. The husbands were talking so intently , I had to practically drag them to the table for lasagna. The wives, both former clarinetists, did hit it off and Lauren and Summer  entertained the 6 and 7 year old and the 7 year old did a beautiful job with the darling one year old.  I had fun at my own dinner party for once.

Best of all, Emily very considerately took the dog to the dog park and shopping during the party and then stopped me from piano to talk to me.  With Andy at her side looking adoringly, she informed me that she plans to exercise when she’s pregnant and she’ll attend an ice cream social for the business school (NOT IN THAT ORDER). She also says she’s going for straight A’s her 2nd quarter at UW. (I had to blurt out that Peter Orzag singled out UW in today’s NYT because of its Medicaid driven  budget cuts:  26% this year and next. But adversity worse than that can be overcome. )  Emily and Andy are so happy and I’m confident and motivated- I’m confident they’ll have a successful quarter.

What does it mean to be buman?  Maybe it’s our  yearning to weave connections  with generations past and future  and our computers….ooops I mean our  family and friends. 

Shambles or perfection?

The Arctic ice is melting quickly.  Slow moving dark  waves creep ominously through large gaps between ice fragments in waters that used to be strictly contained by  solid ice. Next year’s ice will be even more fragile due to the heat absorbed by the black water.  How successful will humanity prove when starvation and water shortages are exacerbated by the catastrophic flooding and crop upheavals that could result?  What if the gulfstream turns the British Isles to ice?  Am I joining  legions of insane predicting that the end is near?  Or falling victim to a culture that awards undue credit to miserable pessimists?

“Our mission is not to see what lies dimly in the future but to do what lies clearly at hand.”

Annie found her way into my office today. I last saw her 2 years ago when she used her given name, “Fang” and spoke almost no English. She has long black hair, a girlish face and figure, and wears a spirited jacket over distressed jeans, polka dot socks and high heels.   She could easily pass for 20 even though she’s 35.  “I just want a check up. Nothing’s wrong,” she chirps. She has a thick Chinese accent but otherwiese surprisingly good English.  “How’s Samuel?” I ask about her husband after admiring photos of her 18 month old son.  She turns away from her i phone for the first time and faces the wall.  “Not well,” she chokes out. “Terrible. He passed away. “  I gasped.  I had never met her husband but had spoken to him several times.  Years ago, he meticulously arranged care for his Japanese wife by phone.  Then more recently he translated by phone for his younger Chinese wife. A successful Jewish American, he travelled for work and seemed to have an affinity for far eastern women and languages.

“What happened to him?”

“He had depression. He hurt himself.”  Luckily, Annie was seeing a Chinese speaking counselor and was thankfully looking forward to things like her son’s education.  Aside from trying to speak English with her son “since Samuel’s gone,” she seemed to be making good decisions.  I had another patient waiting as I drew her blood and finished her review of systems: “…and do you ever feel unsafe?”

“Oh yes,” she understood very clearly. “That’s why I want to move. A man in my neighborhood helped me feel better after Samuel died but he’s not a good person.  He knows where I live. He knows where my son goes to school. “  She had requested I test her for everything possible  during her exam. 

Later, a young French woman, Francoise,  said she wanted to drive straight through crowded downtown Bellevue streets without moving her steering wheel to end her own life. She stopped herself because her 3 young children were sitting in the back. Her children save her life every day as they’re the only reason she’s gotten out of bed for the past 3 months.  If only Samuel’s baby son  had the same power to  pull Samuel up.  Samuel spent 5 months of his brief time with his son in his pajamas in bed.

The privilege of trying to assist my patients sure saves me. I had to put the NYT editorial page aside quickly to get to work and I didn’t think about melting ice once all day. Because I’m in family practice,  I was able to diagnose Francoise’s bipolar type 2 with major depression during her baby’s vaccine appointment. It was gratifying to see Annie enjoying a cascade of photos of her  beautiful little boy knowing that I”ll follow up with her next week to make sure she has no sexually transmitted diseases and that Eastside Domestic Violence is helping  her escape an unsafe environment.

Samuel made a big mistake. But to avoid falling into his abyss, maybe we should stick to Hollywood gossip shows and Pets 101,  focus on  tasks at hand and try not to dwell on the overwhelming urgencies that  Paul Krugman and Thomas Friedman convincingly present.

Or we could always create a utopian piece of fiction. Found a good movie set in a happy  future: The Fourth Element.  And someone made a book recomendation: Stroke of Insight where a left brain stroke helped a neuroscientist achieve  the same goal:  Less analysis and more imagination.

Letting go

“You’re going to have to let us age,” my 72 year old mother-in-law directed me. Ouch. What a way to start a one week adventure in Guadalajara and Nueva Vallarta. Luckily, she went on to try yoga for the first time, conduct a cooking demonstration and go out late at night after early morning walks on the beach. She also reached new heights in expressing anger when she disagreed with my mother and my scrablle rules.

My own mother kept tugging us into the future. Mexican and Chinese husbands would be an asset…except marriage is such an outdated idea. And she correctly saw beauty in everything-the bus trip from Guadalajara was more beautiful and safer than a trip from Phoenix to San Diego. The coastline in Puerto Vallarta reminded her of the Amalfi coast in Italy. The pools overlooking the Pacific Ocean looked even more inviting than her pool at the beach. She could identify a lot of the palm trees and sea birds. We especially loved the frigrates which sat still on a large sculpture in PV. Also, the grand pedestrian boulevards in Guadalajara were lined with imposing buildings hundreds of years old. Fruit trees had plenty of breathing room in open air courtyards. Iris and I used well worn tricks in furtive scrabble games so as not to bother Carol. I forget which Mexican magic she attributed it to but my mother’s radiation burns healed quicker than expected.

How about letting Carol and Iris be ageless. That’s what I’d prefer for myself.  But letting kids go into adults is a great idea. Lauren will major in English and SHE will get her book published. Emily will major in business and figure where to go from there. I still want to help Summer study for the SATs …we’ll see if she lets me. We gave them our credit card last night and after hours in the mall, Lauren, Emily, Summer and their bag handler, Andy, returned with 6 large bags of new clothes and shoes for me from Bellevue Square. Their style is my casual and party style and Grandma and the Air Force provided my preferred work style. Lucky for me to have this guidance.

Eric and I biked  to HBs today where we met HB s parents Lilah(?) and Shel and enjoyed SeaFair for the first time. HB found the pilot’s frequency on his radio gadget (CB?) and we could hear the lead pilot. He actually hummed to keep 4-6 jets in tight formation, said “pull”  to coordinate their climb and calmly directed “smoke on” and “smoke off” during their 200 mph stunts over Lake Washington.  Focused practice that utilizes your talents makes the nearly impossible look easy. Summer runs like she’s competing for state in daily track and cross country practices.“Look out",” the lead pilot said amiably as 4 jets aimed straight at HB’s deck. “And up,” as they veered upwards at the last minute.  Lynelle could float a stunning painting or photo into existence as a child. But every single day she strives for photos that soar higher. “Hello down there,” the lead pilot greeted hundreds of land and water locked people beneath him. It felt like a  part of each of us  flew with them as all six pilots  rocketed straight up in formation and on hearing “delta break” showered out in their own directions.

Lauren’s book…

She printed 2 copies that Iris, Summer, Lynelle, and get this, RAFI fought over during our recent 1 week vacation at Iris’ 4 star hotel. It’s marvelous and she’s sending query letters to agents now. If anyone has questions on FALLING IN LOVE, they’ll need to read her book. It’s also a great illustration of how a teenager can calmly and competently deal with depression, disappointment, and friends trying to go the wrong way. Yahoo says “how was your day?” is an unpopular question with teens. This book helped me get to know my wonderful daughter better than all our past question and answer sessions combined.

She just needs a title!!! Lynelle has been elected. Lynelle, help!!!

Channeling health and happiness

Johannah can beat me in pickleball even though I’ve played longer, I try harder and she’s EIGHTY years old. The only reason I’m better than 73 year old Lillian is because she took 6 weeks off to perfect her eyes through cataract surgery.  Today, the 3 of us enjoyed coffee overlooking a huge water aerobics class. Lillian’s lumpectomy, and 5 years of tamoxifen (cheaper and less side effects than the aromatase inhibitors) are history that ended in 2007. Johannah’s daughter suffered a divorce right after having a baby and Johannah gave up her career as a nurse to raise her granddaughter- way more fun than the original kids-she loved staying home and being a PTA grandma.

My first patient today is about 45 years old with 6 kids. He just got done riding his Harley Davidson to Reno to meet his brother who biked from Colorado.  His work will take him to Korea, Japan, China, Taiwan and India this summer. “Exactly what do you do at Microsoft these days?” I had to ask. He exercises enough to largely avoid my office.   “I’m in charge of Access and EXEL” I demanded more detail before he finally admitted “Vice president…has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?”

My second patient has landed back at her parents at the age of 31 after completing her MBA. Her boyfriend, in exactly the same boat lives with his parents. The parents do NOT permit sleep overs. But all is not lost. The boyfriend plans to hike the Pacific Crest Trail and the two enjoyed the world cup and visited friends in S. Africa this year.

Then I had 2 boys with the same name…. A 6 month old who  held perfectly still when I checked his ears  (and wiggled constantly before and after ) and a 20 year old whose pot/cigarettes/alcohol didn’t even cause a ripple in his family due to a severely bipolar brother and a sister just recovering from addiction to cocaine/pot/alcohol/cigarettes/ADD medications ANG bulemia for good measure.  The youngest child in that family is overweight but the sweetest best adjusted kid ever. The parents cope amazingly well. The right combination of optimism, seeing that things could be worse, and steering their adult kids back into society. I actually think they’ll fully succeed.

That’s it- just 4 patients today. Aren’t you lucky?  Then Levi ran next to my bike to Crossroads and on to other errands.  He stays on the narrow sidewalks avoiding cars without a leash.

I missed breakfast and had a little salmon, 1 TBS yoghurt and some cornbread for lunch and had an excessively good mood all day.I think it’s meant to add to the positive energy Emily, Andy, and Summer are giving to Iris while they stay with her during her recovery from radiation.  She’s going to drink more water and coke and find the perfect balance of rest and activity so she has the strength to meet me and Lauren in Mexico Saturday.  

Channeling health and happiness

Johannah can beat me in pickleball even though I’ve played longer, I try harder and she’s EIGHTY years old. The only reason I’m better than 73 year old Lillian is because she took 6 weeks off to perfect her eyes through cataract surgery.  Today, the 3 of us enjoyed coffee overlooking a huge water aerobics class. Lillian’s lumpectomy, and 5 years of tamoxifen (cheaper and less side effects than the aromatase inhibitors) are history that ended in 2007. Johannah’s daughter suffered a divorce right after having a baby and Johannah gave up her career as a nurse to raise her granddaughter- way more fun than the original kids-she loved staying home and being a PTA grandma.

My first patient today is about 45 years old with 6 kids. He just got done riding his Harley Davidson to Reno to meet his brother who biked from Colorado.  His work will take him to Korea, Japan, China, Taiwan and India this summer. “Exactly what do you do at Microsoft these days?” I had to ask. He exercises enough to largely avoid my office.   “I’m in charge of Access and EXEL” I demanded more detail before he finally admitted “Vice president…has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?”

My second patient has landed back at her parents at the age of 31 after completing her MBA. Her boyfriend, in exactly the same boat lives with his parents. The parents do NOT permit sleep overs. But all is not lost. The boyfriend plans to hike the Pacific Crest Trail and the two enjoyed the world cup and visited friends in S. Africa this year.

Then I had 2 boys with the same name…. A 6 month old who  held perfectly still when I checked his ears  (and wiggled constantly before and after ) and a 20 year old whose pot/cigarettes/alcohol didn’t even cause a ripple in his family due to a severely bipolar brother and a sister just recovering from addiction to cocaine/pot/alcohol/cigarettes/ADD medications ANG bulemia for good measure.  The youngest child in that family is overweight but the sweetest best adjusted kid ever. The parents cope amazingly well. The right combination of optimism, seeing that things could be worse, and steering their adult kids back into society. I actually think they’ll fully succeed.

That’s it- just 4 patients today. Aren’t you lucky?  Then Levi ran next to my bike to Crossroads and on to other errands.  He stays on the narrow sidewalks avoiding cars without a leash.

I missed breakfast and had a little salmon, 1 TBS yoghurt and some cornbread for lunch and had an excessively good mood all day.I think it’s meant to add to the positive energy Emily, Andy, and Summer are giving to Iris while they stay with her during her recovery from radiation.  She’s going to drink more water and coke and find the perfect balance of rest and activity so she has the strength to meet me and Lauren in Mexico Saturday.  

Dear Diary,

Summer got 5th in the Washington State 2A track meet in Tacoma running the 400 meter in basically a minute flat. She also competed at the state level in the 4x200 m relay and she remains disgustingly sweet and successful in her hard 10th grade classes…ie she’s perfect but that’s not what I want to brag about.

Today a guy asked me if I worked out just on the basis of my forearms AND I was standing next to Summer AND he looked like a young weight lifter and most flabbergasting of all, he worked at the counter of the Washington State Dept of Licensing. Secondly,  when I played cutthroat pickleball with Tom ( a mortal) and Jerry (the best the YMCA has), I momentarily tied Jerry with a 3-3-0 score before Jerry went on to show both Tom and me who’s boss. And most exciting of all…. ( I know you’re breathless), Emily and I were the most cheerful, chipper and polite members of our family from 10 pm to midnight tonight. Chew on that awhile perfect Lauren, Eric, and Summer!

And to flesh out the progress report, my book is coming along…I combined about 5 timelines into one grand prologue to denouement timeline today and I’m enjoing my characters…. the real life model for my villain could still be more evil than the character but I don’t want any character to be all bad….And Anna Lukas (moved to US from St Petersburg in 1980)  has agreed to talk to me so I can borrow her Russian accent for my character with bad English.

Eric’s got escargot begonias, lettuce, cilantro, and artistic combinations of beautiful plants in his sweet smelling hot house out back where the chickens used to live. He also scrubbed the dog and restored to mint condition the kitchen table I recomended for  goodwill in 1987. Who new it would be his life’s project and the crowded underpinning of  leisurely, laughter filled dinners with 3 adult daughters and their friends.

Dale Carnegie’s advice on How to stop worrying and start living is really helping. At least I notice that I’m  an idiot when I worry about the earth’s destruction without seeing the cul de sac in front of me.I instead open my eyes to  towering douglas firs and cedars sheltering the rhodedenra, apple and maple trees, exuberant weeds (our yard) and showcase gardens of my neighbors. Only  the wooden houses appear fragile.  My patient stream  definitely  supports Carnegie’s assessment that the majority of sickness stems from worry.

Speaking of the psychological beating the physical, Iris is probably halfway through her radiation now. Good thing she’s resting anytime she wants during this treatment because…we’re all descending upon her to mourn the loss of Judy’s youth (40th birthday bash for my Jookness). She’s then travelling to Miami with Summer, Lynelle, Emily, and Andy to visit Carol Lipson and see Bob and Lisa’s new house on Coconut Grove AND THEN, Emily and Summer will take her to the Tampa airport so Lauren can pick her up at the Guadalajara Airport. Carol and I will arrive shortly thereafter.  By the end of the trip, we’ll successfully shove that breast cancer back behind  the rest of the junk we forget easily.

The Handmaid’s Tale joins 1984 and Brave New World as excellent examples of Dystopian speculative fiction. I wish I could find an excellent example of Utopian speculative fiction. But maybe that’s the one thing correct in “The Rational Optimist” (lousy brand new out in hardback) The best minds tend toward pessimism for the future. Yuck. Yeah- an advantage to losing brain cells with age!

Summer’s momentum includes Iris

After winning 1st place in the 400m run in the last 2 varsity meets, Summer pole vaulted 7 feet 6 inches (her best is 8 feet) then casually mentionned that she was skipping today’s 400m race and running only in the 4x4 relay. Also, she’s running 1st in the relay instead of her usual spot as anchor.

Watching Summer speed  around the track, we were a little surprised that one person was ahead of her. “Wait, is that a guy?” Eric asked. “Of course not, I retorted,” forgetting that Eric’s never wrong.  Summer didn’t seem to know it was a guy either and she just about caught up to him. Her split was a carefully timed 59.6 seconds, way faster than the amazing personal record from just 5 days ago: 61.7!  She hugged us after the race even though 3 or 4 boys were standing there. Then another boy ran up to report that the girl Summer just beat was recruited from Italy to run the 400m race for Bellevue High School!

Solly informed me the same night that Iris’s cancer came back in the same place but it’s tiny. Luckily, she now likes her Indian oncologist at home and is now willing to have surgery and radiation. Summer’s victory helped me handle this news and her strength and example will help Iris sail through treatment #2 just like we had FUN during treament #1.  Iris feels her weight and Rafi could be contributing factors.  These are 2 solvable issues.  My pickleball friends Kurt and lillian are a lovely Jewish couple who have been happily separated since 1988. He’s obviously a negative character and she is obviously flourishing at the age of 73. Iris can get this treatment behind her, have a wonderful 70th birthday celebration in Guadalajara followed by a trip with me to Denver and if she likes, start the next phase of her life single or happily separated.  Rafi loves her very much and can show that whenever she invites him for dinner or another date.

Iris is scared about age 69 because that’s when her dad died but that age will come and go. It may not be the very best year of her life but still an excellent one like all the other years. MANY MANY MANY good years will come after age 69. If she needed them, Summer, Lynelle, Bethany, Lauren, Emily, Derek, Sierra, and Zachary would all see to it but she doesn’t need their tugging. Iris is the source of all these kids’ strength and Iris will see herself through this irritation.

book progress

Dog exhausted, latte still hot in thermal cup, and sun boldly finding cracks in the dark gray clouds, I sat at my oak dining room table overlooking the tangled woods we share with the neighbors and actually  progressed in my book development. My goal is to begin the first draft this month. I’m relieved that I don’t have to be in Starbucks to write because there are a dozen reasons that place can be irritating. The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo is  re-igniting my motivation.

Today, I became reaquainted with a little patient I hadn’t seen for awhile. Curtis is now fully mature. He’s 3 feet tall, over 20 lbs and weighed all my requests very seriously. Yes, I could look in his ears and the stethoscope could be placed on his back as long as he examined it first. He seemed satisfied that, except for a sticker, his body would take care of the rest of the treatment. I was very satisfied that his immunizations are all done til kindergarten.

In pickle ball, the left court was filled with elders who enjoy resting, can’t move too fast and generally play at my level.  The right court attracted our best players plus Sebastian who crosses the court  and slams the ball so fast your eyes and  brain can’t even follow it coherently.   “Can I play with you guys?” I couldn’t help migrating towards the experts.  Sebastian and I were beat by the 2 next best players.  They wanted more competition but neither was willing to be handicapped having me as a partner. So we had a rematch.  I played well enough to not destroy the magic of Sebastian and we won the next game. After the departure of the second best player Jerry (3rd best) and I played together against Sebastian. We had one of the longest games on record and although he didn’t admit to being tired, Sebastian kept having to dry his face with his T shirt and, at the very very end, Jerry and I won. Best of all, Sebastian, generally inpatient with the lot of us, smiled.

Only her new pole vault coach and Summer are able to do the strength training prescribed at day one of practice. One kid asked why Summer was stronger than the other kids. Wesley (state pole vaulter last year and Andy’s friend ) said, “it’s because she’s a Hanson!”  I love that!!  And Lauren is totally serious about the Rock N Roll Half Marathon June 26th. We hope to fly to Tampa June 27th for Judy’s 40th birthday party.  Going to bed so I can be in the pool early tomorrow. I’m thinking about Leora, Rina and Jim W.  I wish they shared the wonderful health most of our family enjoys.

At dinner we were talking about how young Carol and Eric look, then how young I look (not really) and the girls said I had a better figure than women my age. “Any age!” Eric piped in and “You should see her without her clothes on!” I could NOT believe he said that. OMG. Of course, I’m happy but in front of the girls!!?!?!?

Home

I’m so happy to finally be home. Eric and I had a week off work with NO airline tickets and we spent the whole thing running away from home. I want to stay here forever and sit in my lazy boy, eat food from my pantry, watch my TV, sew on buttons,  read my books. If I’m seized with a torrent of ambition, I’ll play the piano.  But what did we do all week? Snow shoed at Mt. Rainier, biked to Redmond Town Center, (discovered the Three Lion Pub where I should take Rafi!)  Kayaked the Sammamish River, skied at Crystal Mountain with Lauren and Carlos, and endured a deafening announcer at the Mat Classic State Wrestling championship in Tacoma. Andy and Summer were both state level contenders!  We did stay at Hotel Murano in Tacoma…

Oh, one more excursion- as soon as Summer lost her second match at State, I drove her to Portland for Junior Statesmen of America in the Doubletree.I’d like to chaperone that if I ever leave home again- the kids debate issues like marijuana legalization, secession of the NW states to form Cascadia, banning of factory farming for animal rights, widespread government promotion of hybrid cars, and one proposed bill wanted to end all subsidzed housing. Oh, another proposed to end all governement sactionned marriage so that gays and straights alike could enter civil unions instead. The kids at JSA wore  dresses and suits and milled around the fancy hotel lobby carrying laptops.

Big contrast from the Mat Classic where Carol, Eric, and I experienced  2000 wrestlers in one room…  wrestlers with bulky deltoids and biceps  would whip off their caps to reveal the  long hair of a girl. Muscular boys would toss each other around the mat like rag dolls. Mental and physical energy  was focused on  keeping opponents shoulder blades flat on the mat long enough for the ref to slap the mat and blow his whistle. Summer was calm and looked formidable with strong,  wide shoulders and muscular legs, and her chin held high. Coach Andy Wong texted her  that all the coaches were proud of the excellent work she did this season. It is unusual for a first year wrestler to make it to state competition.   I slept in Portland before turning around to pick up Eric in Tacoma. Carol  and I passed on I5 as she drove south and I drove north.

Tonight, we brought Summer home from the Portland to Issaquah bus. Before I took my coat off, my neighbor asked me to look at her one week old son, Hunter Benjamin. He was nice and pink but had nasal flaring, subcostal retractions and a little grunting when flat on his back. I had to advise her to take him in to the hospital for additional observation.  Oh I feel for my neighbors. They have to leave this cozy cul de sac that I’m going to cling to for a long time. I’m so glad my parents are coming here soon. One more reason I don’t need to go anywhere.  I’ll be glad when Hunter’s back for a long restful stay too.

Novelist bootcamp, zumiez, and physicians without borders.

Emmy’s doing quite a bit of modeling for Zumiez. First her torso and chin appeared on their website. Then: waist up, smiling face showing.  And a head to toe appearance is next. She’s even modeling their shoes. Also,  they’re transferring  photos to a thumb drive so she can build a portfolio. I need to detach further from her business though. She’s leaning away from lifeguard teacher training this week-end as if she’ll have future opportunities and I just told her it could be this week-end or never. Her boss thinks the training is important and she wants to be a head guard. She got mad at me of course. I need to stay out of it. She’s not headed to be a pro lifeguard anyway.

I’m ahead of schedule on book planning but I’m going to redo all the steps to make them stronger before I start the draft. I’m glad the schedule’s in place so I can’t berate myself for taking more time to make the character cards, scene lists, character matrix and BIC stronger.

Work’s great as usual. I’m nudging Roberto to quit smoking (enlist help from your kids and buy patches!) I’m encouraging a 35 year old to add yoga, cycling and swimming since his running obessession is hurting his knees and back. And several patients and I are doing every last thing we can do to prevent cancer. I”m helping a newly pregnant 34 year old control and monitor her blood pressure. My office is clean and my hours beautifully controlled.

With a little help from Eric, Lauren seems to be doing just fine in computer science, her most challenging class at UW. I love how calmly she takes the whole college thing. She’s sweet and helps a lot around the house.

Sebastian and I beat Roger and Chris today in pickle ball. Also, Lillian and I beat Curt and Jim and we’ve also beat Curt and Gary. We’re moving up.

Summer lost her wrestling match against a Redmond High School 119 lb sophomore JV guy. She only lost by 2 points. Now, the spotlight’s on the varsity kids and Andy will be wrestling soon.

Plus tomorrow’s supposed to be partly sunny which is as close as we get to sunny and Denni, Luke, Eric and I are skiing at Crystal Mtn tomorrow!  And tomorrow night, Eric and I are  finally going to temple.

A guy at pickleball suggested I take my French speaking medical skills to Haiti for the earthquake.  That is one horrible idea! But I am volunteering for Earthcorps and a free clinic. Also, I told Eric that if our overseas sabatical with Microsoft doesnt’ work out, I could work for medecins sans frontier (it’s actually a paid position) and he could come. That’ll keep him on track for Microsoft in France! Doctors without Borders badly needs French speaking doctors but they ONLY go to the worst places on earth.  Also, I still want to do volunteers for Israel.

Mr Harvard Freshman

He won. Ruth Lidawer, our cousin, survived the concentration camps and moved to Miami looking like a 7 year old at age 16. Now, her grandson is Mr. Harvard Freshman. How can anyone else be excited about their college kids?

Today, as usual,I worked too long before lunch. Walking home ravenous, I vowed to eat, relax and return to work on time… no extra projects today. Once again, Emily had magically reappeared in Bellevue from Bellingham. But she was rushing to put on make up and depart for an orchestra concert in Yakima. Apple, tofu, rice, clean up…and…

“I want to go to Florida for 6 weeks this summer, study in California and work at Sea World, stay in Bellingham on week-ends, get an apartment with Lucille…” Emily blurted out rushing down the stairs thickly lashed eyes tearing up. “I don’t want to switch schools just for some guy!” “If I bring up anything that takes me away, Andy gets so upset!” “I’m not going to Bellevue College and I really like Western.”

Emily was listening to her intuition and facing some really difficult decisions. Andy seemed like he’d walk down the aisle with her any day of the week and no parent could possibly disapprove of Andy. Both Andy and Lauren badly want Emily to transfer to Univ of Washington in Seattle.

For once, when I apologized to my first patient, I wasn’t berating myself even though I was a full 5 minutes late. Those 5 were needed at home.

I dove right into anxiety week at Gwen’s office. One patient, overwhelmed by her toddler quickly aborted when she discovered a second pregnancy. Now, she worries incessantly about her 2 year old, waking up 4 times a night to give her drinks and change her diapers. Another, determined not to ruin her make up by crying, suffered from exploding tears describing the panic she suffered for weeks from the pain and bewilderment of undiagnosed reflex sympathetic dystrophy. Now, 8 years later, a swollen ankle pushed her towards an imaginary abyss. A retired engineer worries that irregular heartbeats will knock his newly replaced heart valve out of place. And a 13 year old describes the text messages she sends her friends…impotent attempts to ease her depression.

“ANSWER” says an angry text from Lauren. Finally at 5:30 PM, I call her back. “Just 2 things,” she says.” There’s a large envelope from UW here for Emily and I’m going out to dinner with Sophie.”

“O..M..G..” was Emily’s text when she heard. “Now I have some decisions to make.” During her drive home from Yakima, Emily has to choose between her wonderful suite mates, independence, and professors at Western Washington Univ. and her family and friends here at home. Also, she’s considering studying industrial engineering, only offered at Univ.of Washington. She also wants to spend 6 weeks in Florida this summer with her grandparents and cousins. I warned her NOT to mention this until she’s sure or she’ll break hearts of all ages in that state.

Lauren has decided to train for Seattle’s Rock N Roll Half Marathon in March when her book is finished and she’s trying to get it published. I guess UW permits her a little extra time on the side. Carlos is reporting from Guadalajara to her side promptly on Valentine’s Day.

Summer is wrestling in a regional girls tournament in Sedro Woolley tomorrow. If she wins her 1st and 3rd matches, she’ll qualify for State: the Mat Classic in the Tacoma Dome next week-end. Sunday, Summer and her boyfriend plan to start Valentine’s Day at 9 AM so it lasts longer. And in case she doesn't make it to state, Summer will go to Portland for a debating event. Andy says he'll wrestle in the state meet without a doubt.

I’m very happy for Ari Lidawer and his mom, Annette. I hope his grandmother feels her own incredible accomplishment in this. I, like billions of other parents, am bursting with knowledge more secret than Annette’s but just as certain: my children are the best in the universe.

the quartet played as the titanic sank

The NRDC economist said we’re looking into the abyss. Big coal has spent decades funding faux science to deny climate change. The chamber of commerce beat even Exxon mobile on billions of dollars spent on lobbyists. Democrats are included in the club of lawmakers that make $250k + per year from coal and oil interests. There are 5 dirty energy lobbyists for every lawmaker. Warren BuffetI has placed a bet against the planet by investing big in coal.”YOU IDIOTS” is on the cover of the Rolling Stone issue with all this cheerful news.  I’ve encouraged the girls to use their strengths to help save the planet. Maybe, Emily’s cello would be the best after all…a soothing tonic while we go down.

BUT- as Iris pointed out, we won WWII and there’s no McCarthy rounding us up for visiting China. And if my cousin Carola was grateful for bad coffee to use as shampoo, hay to cushion her sleep, and soup each day, surely, I can face living in paradise.

Three strong healthy creative supportive daughters, a husband who pampers me and gives me freedom, a mild drizzly climate that nurtures fir, cedars,washington farmers, my hunter cat, near invisible bikers with raingear and moss, and an abundance of every manmade product in the world at my doorstep. Maybe it’s just our job to document the perfection and melt into the music.

time alone

Thank you to my TA in Chemistry freshman year, 40 days and 40 nights journal Lauren and my mom.  The TA, a Cornell senior already admitted

to med school put his feet up and read the NYT during chemistry lab. Finally (age 46, Barack safely in whitehouse) I let myself read it thoroughly least twice a week- no rushing.

  40 days 40 nights gove me the courage to start journaling. It’s NOT like anyone will ever read it- but I couldn’t get started without a little format.

LAUREN is making daily progress on her book (I gobbled up a sneak preview and loved it!) and she ENCOURAGES me in her gentle quiet way to plant myself and do the same.

Whether I ever have a completed book or not, I love time spent working on it.  My mom told me that she and Rafi had some goals they never seriously pursued and I should not be afraid to pursue mine.

Now, I just need one more benefit from this writing project…get Iris to write!