Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Over the Top


The wisp of metal is cold reminding me that I’m 30,000 feet above the warm earth. It cools my hot irritable hands. When I open it, the bright white letters and numbers invite me to touch them. The blue screen cooly awaits my command.

My old diary is gone, relegated to a closet shelf that’s draped with gauzy swim cover ups, capri pants, summer clothes of every description that will remain completely useless for many months. The downy alpaca sweater I knit too loosely lies on the same shelf waiting for a kind, elderly knitter to help me repair it.

Once again, I’ve overdone it. During the summer, I had to try to speak at least one word in the language of each country so matter how fleeting my visit. “Thank you”  in Icelandic is “tak” which means something in Polish as well so I conserved a scrap of mental energy.  But I struggled in Italy. Something drove me to talk even when the most attentive Italian couldn’t understand a word. I kept listening to my CD, checking my phrase book. Practicing alone and on any slightly sympathetic Italian until success was mine. I asked an elderly resident of Civita di Bagnoregio who spoke no English whatsoever if one could swim in Bolsena Lake and whether or not it was cold. I even understood her answer!  One could swim in the warm water of the lake. If one could tolerate swimming with a bunch of Germans. Giddy with my success, I even quipped that the Germans would speak English as I ran off to share the good news with my family. In Greece, my approximation for their good morning put smiles on craggy faces of Olympian shopkeepers being starved by the dearth of tourists.

Israel was tough too. For at least 5 minutes,  I examined a big bright tourist map on a crowded sidewalk in Holon. I learned absolutely nothing. I couldn’t tell north from south, where I was, or where I came from. Every street was named after a person and people have two names. I couldn’t match the last names on the street signs with the full names on the map. Hebrew letters are familiar to me but not the faithful servants of our alphabet.  Annoyed, I decided Holon was just home base anyway. I scouted the vicinity for half an hour until I figured out where to catch the bus to Tel Aviv.  I’d be back with my daughters and we’d have a day at the beach. A long run followed.

Using my very own key, I unlocked the door to my cousins’ home and skimmed through the heavy hot living room. Quietly, I approached my daughters’ bedroom door. Lauren would be sleeping beneath the quietly efficient room air conditioner. Summer would be tiptoeing around her sister. She went running at the same time as I did 2 hours ago but she doesn’t interrupt her run with silly tourist diversions.  Summer was not there. Lauren stayed half asleep and showed no alarm but her sister was missing.

Twenty minutes later, Summer walked in brushing right past her hysterical mother. The language barrier hadn’t been so kind to her either but she found her way back.  Anee rutzah ledaberet Ivrit does not make it happen.

So in Belgium and France, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut to let my girls use their French. Meticulously taught by Mme Columb, they can retrieve grammar and conditionel tense admirably. But my joy at once again having a language at my command took over. Waiters became penpals. Hotel clerks, my tour advisors. I asked for directions even as I happily tripped along the road I had followed as an 8 year old, thrilled to have Lauren and Summer patiently following behind as we found my old school: L’ecole du Bois de la Cambre. In Paris, les jardins Tuileries with an amusement park and peaceful pond were enjoyed along with the exibit of a S. Korean photographer who’s every photo was taken from the same window. And Summer ran next to me while we biked to Notre Dame and the Eiffel Tower. But I still felt most unfortunate, when Summer and I had to fly out of Paris less than 24 hours after our arrival leaving Lauren all alone to  find affordable lodging and brave through her own ambitious itinerary. I stayed with Lauren in spirit for the entire week until she joined her colleagues in Amsterdam.

It was enough for at least a year. My week at music camp, new friend coaxing music out of their instruments from 7 AM to 10 PM when the pianos had to be quiet was already more than enough to make 2012 a year I’d always cherish.  Camping with Eric through Camloops, RevelStoke, Lake Le Jeune, Kicking Horse, and finally Lake Louise  Canada and staying in our van with little dog Fancy in the driving rain with nothing but our books, flashlights, Cracker jacks and sleep.  The morning sunshine showed us that the clean dignity of  northern Idahos hills made us happy to return to the US even after the majesty of B.C. and Alberta.

So, I’ve had a lot of diversion this year and I’ve really earned weeks on end of TV, bathrobes, and simple wanderings about the neighborhood. All my girls are gone to college but Eric is the husband of my dreams and I am ready for my due. A grand piano in the living room,  2 cabinets with assorted music, a kindle, a book club…I have it all. Clunk the YMCA and a good job on top of that and Bellevue is truly a dream come true.

Why then, do I find myself up in the sky? With a computer that’s now as overheated as I am. It’s due to excesses. I  tried the breathing exercises Dr. Andrew Weil advised. Pin tongue to the ridge behind the teeth. Exhale fully through the mouth making a loud breathing out sound. Breathe in quietly through the nose to a count of 4. Hold until a count of 7. Exhale (same loud method) to a count of 8.  Repeat x 3. I’ve cut my caffeine to just a smidge. I tried to dampen my mother Iris’s touristic enthusiasm. She’s obviously the reason I can’t just see the sights and go home. I assumed that without caffeine, I’d sleep through half the lectures at the American Academy of Family Physicians’ 2012 assembly in Philadelphia. Who knew that these lectures would inspire me to network with fellow physicians! Neither my mother nor I had ever been to that city. “Filthadelphia,” right? Who cares.

But my mom just had to talk her way into the Barnes museum where the Renoirs greet you like an out of control rabbit population. Her friend Joan just had to be a brilliant mediator with cascading blonde hair, a white cashmere coat and a black and white flared mini skirt over the legs and high heels that went with it. And Joan had to bring her tragic son who hopes bourbon will still his ambivalence about using his legal education to help Wall Street financiers maintain their lifestyles. Iris’ other friend Joyce,had to be an agreeable and modest  pioneer in inclusive education for disabled Baltimore children. I had to experience the American Jewish Museum with a movie of Leonard Bernstein as a young man conducting the classical music that thrilled America before he proceeded to compose the musicals that that buoy  us effortlessly above our cares. And movies about the Jewish immigrant movie directors that powerfully wove the American dream which we all share today.  A simple run in Philadelphia takes you to all the buildings that were frequented by the white wigged geniuses that wrote our constitution.  Why?

Forget that I visited Princeton before Philadelphia.  The leaves were turning red and Summer loves it. I can’t take it anymore.

This plane is bumping around and the stewardess will scream at me any second. I am going home and putting on a bathrobe.

Goodnight.

Blog Rescued

I gave up on my novel and adopted chamber music instead. Yoga has become my closest link to myself. I thought that was enough until Lauren came over. She gently poked at the near dead writer within me until it rolled over and whispered something unintelligible. 

I want to write a book modeled after Jennifer Weiner's. I know I can because my sister Solange could make Susan Isaacs (hilarious author of cynical books like As Husbands Go) look like a dreamy eyed romance writer. And my other sister, Judy blogs on Forbes.com while she captains her own company through hurricane seas. My failed first book was too ambitious-trying to weave together my view of the future, the evils of the food industry, and the personal lives of all the characters. Plus my best character, was an evil Russian woman. Too many Russians get a bad rap in fiction.

Writing could wait. I'd write after I organize my life (all on a new fast computer), improve my medical practice, become a lightening quick sight reader on the piano and do whatever new project comes to mind. There was no urgency whatsoever until....

My BLOG was LOST!  My little netbook featured blogwriter and not much else. On my new computer, google searches just showed a bunch of doctor rating sites and I couldn't find my blog anywhere. And talk about near dead...nobody wants to hear about the gasping and burping of my poor little netbook when I opened it after months on the shelf under my summer clothes. Anyway, the little gadget came through and my blog is now found. It's site, username, password and everything else will now be organized along with the rest of my life. And it's miraculous return to reality made me want to add a post before the year is up.

Lauren had pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Red Hot Chili Peppers and her own published book on her bulletin board. The Eiffel Tower came down after she covered Paris during her 10day stay there last summer, the Red Hot Chili Peppers will take a spot in her "accomplished" box (under her bed) after she attends their concert tomorrow night.  So clearly, the publishing of her novel will occur soon .

Furthermore, she keeps a diary (paper journals, volumes by now, kept under her bed), and she now posts a blog weekly. Weekly blogs have made Judy reflect each week on the progress of Opportunity Works (her company). Her powerful voice has inspired me as well as hundreds of other readers.  I love my yoga class. Yogi Susan's clear instructions stretch the soreness out of my muscles and exhaler the exhausting chatter out of my brain. She gently lifts my back towards the sky and relaxes my shoulders to the safety of earth.  Lauren coaches my life the same way. She encouraged my to enjoy a run the other night while she worked on her 4th batch of cinnamon rolls. She reminded me about her life coach: Martha Beck's Book  Steering by Starlight and her blog. And she introduced me to her brand newblog:  my ya life!

This is a disjointed blog but  I'm hoping it can be a rickety little bridge between past and future attempts to write. Even an occasional chronicle will be better than nothing.